Capital Hill

Federal Government Cuts FAFSA After Viewing Spring Break Photos

Silver City, NM- The United States government has released a statement, detailing their plans to eliminate FAFSA, the Free Application for Federal Student Aid. This decision comes after government representatives allegedly viewed the spring break photos of college students on social media platforms such as Snapchat and Instagram. There were even a few photos posted on Vero, a social media account that got big and then suddenly collapsed within a matter of days.

“Our friends at the National Security Agency (NSA) have been monitoring the online content of Americans for the past five years,” a spokesperson said. “Lately, agents have been finding numerous photos of young people out having fun.”

Photos of students attending concerts, traveling to beaches and ski lodges and making road trips to Santa Fe have populated the internet the past several weeks. The Federal Government wants to know just how students are financing these ventures.


“A lot of students claim to be holding down two jobs on top of their studies and even work extra hours to support these trips,” the spokesperson said. “Fortunately, we in government know better than to listen to kids.”

The Federal Government will begin shutting down FAFSA this April. Students are advised to remember that this is a satirical article. April Fool’s everyone!

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