Head in Hands

The Mustang’s WORST Valentine’s Day Pick Up Lines

Still looking for that last minute Valentine’s date? We at the paper asked some readers for a couple pick up lines and we definitely recommend that you don’t try any of them.

 

Our student Regent claims to have heard this one multiple times:

“Como hace la carnita asada? Ssssss mamacita.” or “How does the steak sizzle on that grill? Ssssss Mamacita” -Arlean Murillo

 

A good friend of mine gave a line that wards off scandalous women:

“Damn girl, are you an angel? Because so was Satan!” -Edwin Castorena

 

A couple of punny lines from our student leaders:

“I got my ion you.” -Dayana Baez

“Wheel you be mine?” -Kaity Ellis

 

A few more silly ones followed:

“Do you have a band-aid? Because I skid my knee when I fell for you” -JoLynn Guerrero

“I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture you and me together.” -Kat Quarrell

“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but do dinosaurs still exist?” -Megan Sayre

“Do you live in a corn field, because I’m sure stalking you.” -Diana Gordillo

“I like the way your shorts make me feel in my shorts.” – Anna Daggett

 

Then things took a dark turn:

“I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock.” -Toni Marie Quarrell

“Hey I’m looking for a treasure, mind if I look around your chest?” -Stefany McCartney

“Do you wash your pants with windex, cause I can see myself in them.” -Toni Marie Quarrell

“You’re kinda like Medussa: You can turn part of me into stone.” -Anonymous

“You are as beautiful as a deer in the woods, and just like that deer, I’d like to take you home and mount you over my fireplace.” -Anonymous

“Hey. Are you the galaxy note 7. Because I want you to blow up all over my face” -Cami Marie Hubbard

“Hey! Editor’s Note: The rest of this line was unfit for publication. -Carlton Rich

 

Finally, we close out with a lovely poem from our resident Director of Communications:

“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I love Tapatio.” -Abe Villareal

 

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!

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