Western New Mexico University Students Newspaper
Disclaimer: None of this is real!
It was announced this morning that all classes will be canceled for the rest of the semester due to the consistent exhaustion that students have been experiencing. Students have shown such an extreme decrease in interest for completing their assignments and attending their classes to the point that students have begun lounging on the sidewalks
Continue reading ➞ School Canceled Due to Student Exhaustion
Silver City, NM- Only mere hours after announcing their purchase from the Walt Disney Company, The Mustang announces that they were not purchased by Disney, nor was that deal ever going to happen. While more or less unheard of in media these days, The Mustang writers checked their facts and discovered two things- first, that Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp,
Continue reading ➞ BREAKING: Disney-Mustang Merger Not Happening
Silver City, NM – New Mexico is among one of the greatest sources for fossil finds and WNMU’s campus is proud to accommodate such an important piece of history. Buried underneath the road, a new species of dinosaur has been found in Silver City, New Mexico near one of the construction sites on campus taking
Continue reading ➞ Construction Crew on Western New Mexico Campus Discovers “Rare” Fossil
Santa Teresa, NM- A new professor is visiting Western New Mexico University. Five-year-old Dr. Juan-Pablo Murillo, who graduated from Western New Mexico University last Spring, is returning to his alma-mater this Fall to teach Anthropology, with a focus on Emus. Dr. Murillo graduated from WNMU in 2017 with a degree in Early-Childhood Education. Dr. Murillo
Continue reading ➞ WNMU Alumni Returns to Teach Course on Emus.
Silver City, NM- The United States government has released a statement, detailing their plans to eliminate FAFSA, the Free Application for Federal Student Aid. This decision comes after government representatives allegedly viewed the spring break photos of college students on social media platforms such as Snapchat and Instagram. There were even a few photos posted on
Continue reading ➞ Federal Government Cuts FAFSA After Viewing Spring Break Photos
Silver City, NM- The Pro-Temp of ASWNMU Student Senate Dylan Kester has been fired. While ASWNMU wouldn’t disclose the unspeakable reason why Kester was relieved of his duties, most signs point to Kester’s ridiculous spending, which can be seen in Treasurer reports handed out during ASWNMU public meetings. Among Kester’s outlandish purchases include a snow
Silver City, NM- The Mustang, the student-led news source for Western New Mexico University has been bought out by the Walt Disney Company. The Walt Disney Company is a multinational mass-media company known for their films, television, music, theme parks and much more. The Walt Disney Company recently bought off 21st Century Fox from Rupert Murdoch’s
Continue reading ➞ BREAKING: Mustang Newspaper Purchased by Walt Disney Company
Silver City, NM- Earlier today, The Mustang editorial staff, (you know, that one guy) announced that the student publication would begin the practice of publishing fake news. After many angry phone calls, death threats and one concerned email, the editor has come forward with a statement. “I never said any of that,” Mustang editor Eric Lowe said.
Continue reading ➞ Mustang Newspaper to Stop Publishing Fake News
Silver City, NM- On Monday, March 20, Delta Mu Delta finally held their long-delayed “Balduary” event in which nineteen men volunteered to have their heads shaved on behalf of men’s health. Sadly, Vice President of Student Affairs Isaac Brundage was not among them, leaving the Vice President feeling a little left out. The event, hosted
Santa Teresa, NM- The back end of the semester can often be the most stressful and trying times for any student, but imagine facing it at the tender age of five years old. Juan Pablo Murillo is a five year old Early Childhood Education major from Santa Teresa, NM who is nearing the end of